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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

The Building of The House

Me, pointing at an empty lot. Empty for 3.5 years.

Good people of the earth: I am a patient person. I can read, pick my nails or twist my hair as I wait ever-so-patiently for things like doctor's appointments, drying paint and bacon.

I canNOT, however, wait almost six months for a building permit.

Why?  Why is this happening?

I have already made four payments on a construction loan that also isn't doing anything but waiting on this permit!

Here. Here's my money. Enjoy it while I simmer in anger juices.

It took over a year to get my plans completed.

It took another year to realize I'd been had by the guy I hired to clear the land (just kidding - it took only a few months for that realization to kick in).

It took four months for me to realize the lawyer I hired to deal with the land-clearer I'd hired was a moron who couldn't write a demand letter. So fun.

And now? It's a waiting game for a bunch of check boxes to be checked and resulting comments to be addressed. Why should it take almost six months?!

My mortgage lady told me her permit took eight months. I scoffed and said 'there's no way MINE will take eight months.' Oh, wood - where were you when I opened my mouth on that one? Someone should have tapped me on the shoulder and forced me to knock on it.


I am going to just give up on my excitement and Christmas party plans and see how long things take while I'm wallowing in despair. In the meantime, I'm going to practice doing things that might or might not happen in the house that might or might not be built. I don't think I'll be smiling much until we actually have paper in hand, and even then, I'll be pessimistic and snarky. People warned me about building a house. They did. To them, I say thank you, yes, you said it. I didn't realize, though, that the problems would begin as far back as they did. Can I at least get a foundation poured before the drama starts? No?  What lovely things are in store for us!?  *knock knock*

If you could, please send me good vibes, and don't take it personally if I'm not as chipper as I usually am.