A Lizard Story

In February of this year, I had a moment. I posted on FB about that moment. I will share here, so people all over the world can share in my moment.

Fun story of the day, because apparently, I like communicating my awkward moments. The set-up: about a week ago, I noticed a tiny, tiny gecko baby by the side of the oven. I rescue things often and wanted to do so right then and there, but alas, he scurried down the side of the stove. I feared for him! Stoves are hot, you guys. Didn't know if you knew...

Scene of the incident -- at least part one.

So, fast forward to today, and I see the little darling again. At this point, he was on the stove itself. The stove top is black, so the gecko baby was fairly dark, as well. Hard to see, but he scurried and revealed himself.

I jumped into action, slo-mo.

It was cinematic.

I slowly pushed the knife block against one side of the stove so that the gap was covered. The other side got a pair of tongs. I had trivets and oil containers for him to use as a hiding place, so I slowly inched him to a bright orange funnel.

Well, that didn't work. He doesn't like orange.

Forward. Forward.

What the...?!

He jumped on my leg! I squeaked a little and then applied a calming technique to keep him where he was, but he freaked and went straight for my crotch.

Awesome.

So, I trap him there with both hands and start hobbling toward the back door. I know I probably look like a hunched old woman who needs to potty. Can you picture it? What a weirdo.

Yes, I make it outside, and that's when junior decides to jump on my arm and make a beeline for my armpit.

Disaster. Who is this perverted gecko?!

Not a gecko, but a cute pic, nonetheless.

I coax him out and eventually get him on the porch wall. He looks a little bit relieved and starts side-stepping to a less offensive hiding place. I thank the stars I didn't have to disrobe outside.

The end.